I Pardon You
by thedarklordslittledungeonbat
Summary: what if instead of Harry seeing Snape's Worst Memory, Severus tells Harry about it...? AU SNARRY more of an explanation inside


Title: I Pardon You

Author: LM Ryder the Batty Bat

Fandom: Harry Potter

Rating: M  
Type: SLASH

Characters: Severus Snape, Harry Potter and others (who I will not reveal or it will blow my plot for November)

Pairings: SS/HP

Universe: alternate

Summary: when Harry sees Snape's worst memory in the Pensieve he learns something…

Disclaimer: **_The Author Is An Amateur Writer Who Has A Learning Disability And Profound Dyspraxia_**.

She is writing only for herself and not for paid publication. If any of the contents of the story is offensive the author will explicitly warn her readers at the beginning of the story. In no way is the content which may or may not be offensive a reflection of the author as a person. While copyright for the fandom remains with its respective owners the author claims copyright for the idea for the story and this manuscript may not be copied in whole or in part without express written permission from the author.

Warnings: implied SNARRY SLASH

Narrative viewpoint: 1st for fan fiction

Author's Note: I know I'm meant to be writing for camp National Novel Writing Month just now but this idea flashed into my mind when I read something on facebook about Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. The title is a line from Schindler's List. This story is preparation for National Novel Writing Month in November when I will be writing a story called the Fields of Gold series…

This is set during Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix HOWEVER in this universe, Harry is of age, he is a 7th year and has a younger sister named Natasha-Jane. She is the one who survived the attack by DUMBLEDORE and not Voldemort.

If I get even so much as one howler about this being SNARRY or about my grammar I will be MOST displeased! If you're going to attempt to correct my grammar you will kindly explain PRECISELY what I need to fix…

The part of the story written in bold and italics is in FLASHBACK

Alberta and Abraxas Riddle are Sev's adoptive parents that's all I can tell you for now otherwise I will spoil the plot for November

Harry's nightmares are written in italics only

I Pardon You

Severus's *Point of View*

Harry and I were in the Room of Requirement… we were hiding out there because The Toad had been driving us mad, trying to figure out what we were up to. We were sitting in the bed that the room had provided us with. Harry had his head on my shoulder… he looked like he was ready to fall asleep at any moment…

'Harry if you want to take a nap,'  
'no' he said around a yawn 'I won't be able to sleep Sev'

'Harry, you're exhausted; I can see it in your face'  
'I'll just have nightmares again Sev… about the Dursleys.'

'Harry this can't be good for you I'm amazed you can get through your classes and one of these days you're going to crash from total exhaustion.'  
'I know it's not ideal Sev but I know I won't sleep…' he replied and leaned up to kiss me…

'How about this…' I suggested 'how about we both take a nap and if you have a nightmare I'll wake you'  
'no Sev you're not tired enough to take a nap'  
'I know I am not but Harry I can't ignore how exhausted you are… we have to do something…'  
'I can't think of anything we can do to help me to sleep… well except… but I'm not ready for that and you said you wanted to wait'  
'I can think of something that might help which doesn't involve… that. I will tell you about my worst memory…'  
'Ok'

I reeled Harry in a little closer, so that he had his head on my chest rather than my shoulder… I was determined that he should take a nap but I knew that if I wasn't careful I could annoy him so I decided to play the Slytherin card… and be subtle about comforting Harry to sleep.

**_"_****_You know I was best friends with your mother, Lily?'  
'Yes'_**

**_'_****_Well actually, my adoptive parents adopted Lily and Petunia when we were 11 years old and Petunia was 13. When we were in our fifth year here, something happened which she would never have forgiven me for if it wasn't for the rest of our friends… it didn't end out friendship but it was close and the worst thing about it was that it wasn't really my fault' I had never talked to anyone about this before_**

**_'_****_We had just finished our Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL and Lily and I were sitting under a tree talking over our results with Lucius, Narcissa, Sirius, Fabien, Gideon, Poppy, Minerva, Bellatrix, Arthur and Remus when who shows up but Potter, Pettigrew, Gilderoy Lockhart, Molly Prewitt and The Lestrange Brothers. My face immediately becomes a mask… Lily grabbed my hand and squeezed it – she knew how angry Potter and his goons made me and how they frequently humiliated me. Minerva put her hand on my shoulder and Lucius said 'if they do anything we will go to the common room and floo-call father ok'  
'ok'_**

******_They sat down at a tree not far from us and they don't notice us to begin with. Potter is playing with a snitch that he's somehow managed to steal from Madam Hooch. He kept releasing it and catching it again at the very last second… suddenly Pettigrew looked our way… he nudged Molly and when she saw me she pointed me out to Potter and the Lestranges  
Potter got to his feet and the others followed suit, and they came over to us… I was first on my feet and then suddenly I wasn't on my feet anymore… my feet were above my head and Potter and his band of ignorant thugs were trying to take my trousers off… Lily went crazy and forced them to let me down and Potter said 'lucky for you that Evans was here… Snivellus'_**

**_I said the first thing that came into my head and by God did I regret it… I said 'I don't need help from filthy little mudbloods like her… there was silence as soon as I had spoken… Sirius hexed me and so did Remus, Lucius slapped me, Narcissa turned her back on me… and so did Minerva and the twins… _**

**_'_****_I'm sorry Lily I didn't mean it!'  
'Oh it just slipped out did it?'  
'Yes… I am really sorry Lils I would never ever say that to you and mean it…'_**

**_'_****_Get out of my sight' she said angrily and I had no choice but to go back to the common room. _**

**_Bellatrix came with me… she knew that I hadn't meant it, she wanted to make sure I was ok… before we even got close to the common room Fabien and Gideon came round the corner_**

**_'_****_Sev! We need your help! It's Lucius' said Gideon  
'what's happened to him?' I demanded  
'the Lestranges Rodolphus used the Cruciatus and Rabastan used Avada Maxima… get your father, quickly… I've already spoken to Professor Slughorn and Madam Pomfrey… they're taking him to the infirmary… Bellatrix you need to go and comfort your sister' said Fabien._**

**_Sirius came running 'before they could get him away Potter and Pettigrew started using stinging hexes and I could have sworn I saw Dumbledore looking down on the scene from the window of his office and laughing'_**

**_I ran into the common room and grabbed some floo powder from the fireplace _**

**_'_****_Abraxas Riddle's Study, Riddle Manor' _**

**_'_****_DAD!' I yelled 'WHERE ARE YOU I NEED YOUR HELP… QUICKLY' _**

**_'_****_Sev what's the matter?'  
'You need to come to Hogwarts immediately it's Lucius… he's been cursed Rodolphus used the Cruciatus and Rabastan used Avada maxima then Potter used stinging hexes… he's in the infirmary'  
'ALBERTA!' yelled my father_**

**_My mother came flying down the stairs and into dad's study_**

**_'_****_What's wrong Abe?'  
'Luc's injured we have to get to Hogwarts'_**

**_I was so worried about Lucius that I forgot to be upset about my fall out with Lily. When we got up to the infirmary, she was sitting next to Narcissa and Bellatrix…_**

**_'_****_I've managed to stop the bleeding but he is going to need to go to St Mungo's the Cruciatus stops the healing spells from working properly… he needs surgery'_**

**_Narcissa was very upset… Bellatrix gave her sister a hug…_**

**_'_****_Sev, take care of Narcissa for me' Lucius said weakly_**

**_'_****_I want to come with you' she sobbed _**

**_'_****_You can visit after surgery'_**

**_'_****_Don't worry Cissa I'll be ok'_**

**_'_****_This is my fault… if I hadn't been so stupid… if I hadn't let my temper get away from me again… if I hadn't spoken out of turn none of this would have happened' I snapped and then I walked out of the room… and up to the astronomy tower… I needed some space… Minerva followed me… _**

**_'_****_Sev it wasn't your fault' she said 'Lily and Bella will be up in a minute they're putting Cissy to bed. She was terrified when those curses hit Lucius.'_**

**_Bellatrix came upstairs and she was pale and shaking… _**

**_'_****_Dolores Umbridge just cursed Narcissa with four stunning spells right after each other… we took her to the infirmary… she's going to St. Mungo's she's unconscious… mother and father are furious!'_**

**_'_****_Come on Bella, let's go and get some clothes for Narcissa and some things to cheer her up when she wakes up?'  
'Ok'_**

**_Minerva and Bellatrix left which meant lily and I were alone…_**

**_'_****_Lily I…'  
'I know you're sorry Sev… I'm sorry too…'_**

**_Lily hugged me…"_**

I looked down at Harry, he was fast asleep… I pulled the quilt up and slid my arms round Harry more protectively. I felt my own eyes becoming heavy… I yawned and kissed Harry gently on the end of the nose. He grinned in his sleep… "Sweet dreams" I murmured before I lost my battle with my own exhaustion and succumbed to sleep… ****

**Harry's *Point of View* **

_I was trapped in the same nightmare I'd been having since I arrived at Hogwarts... my big boorish lout of an uncle was looming over my like an almighty walrus… he started hitting me… then he threw me bodily down the stairs…_

**_"_****_Stop uncle please I'm sorry I'm sorry please don't please… not again please leave me alone don't hurt me"_**

"Wake up Harry… it's all right… it's just a dream he's not here… Wake up Harry… it's all right… it's just a dream he's not here… Wake up Harry… it's all right… it's just a dream he's not here…" said a voice I opened my eyes and found myself in Sev's arms… he was rubbing my back… he had managed to get me relaxed enough to fall asleep, by telling me about my mother…

"Sev is that story you told me true?"  
"Yes. I don't know if Lily ever forgave me for calling her that… we were never the same after it. I apologised but she didn't react"

"Since my mother isn't here to do it… Severus, I pardon you… you know you shouldn't have said it but in a moment of provoked anger… you did"

"Thanks Harry…" Severus glanced at his watch and said "it's late Harry; we should go to sleep…"

Severus's *Point of View*

A silver peacock Patronus came into the room "Umbridge is onto you"

"That's Lucius' Patronus… we should go Harry… I'll see you downstairs use your cloak…"  
"Ok Sev…"

We looked into each other's eyes and we kissed… a hand clapped onto my back and dragged me away from Harry by the collar… someone shackled my ankles and when I struggled they beat and kicked me into unconsciousness…

It was a while before I knew what was going on I was hanging by my ankles from the shackles in my office… I could hear yelling and then I heard a thud and Harry came flying into the room…

"CRUCIO" yelled a voice… the spell hit both of us… twenty minutes went by before…

"EXPECTO PATRONUM" yelled Harry "find Minerva" he told the stag and it vanished "INCARCEROUS" he yelled pointing his wand at Umbridge "RELASHIO" he added releasing the shackles on my ankles… as I landed on the desk Harry cast a cushioning charm and I bounced and landed on his lap.

"Are you ok?"  
My nose started bleeding profusely. There was a meow and Minerva came into the room… she transformed back into her witch form and sent her tabby Patronus to Poppy. She conjured a handkerchief and put it gently to my nose

"Keep it there and keep your head forward" she said

Harry rubbed my back

"The blood rushed to your head when you were upside down" he said "and it had nowhere to go except straight into your nose and now that you're right side up again… the excess blood has to go somewhere"

Noticing that I was shaking from blood loss Harry said "accio blood replenisher potion"

He held the crystal vial to my lips and helped me to drink it through a straw because I couldn't really tip my head back because of the nose bleed. ****

When my nose had stopped bleeding, and we were up in the infirmary, we cuddled together in one bed… I felt Harry carding his fingers gently through my hair as I had done to him earlier… I dropped off to sleep… but I had an awful nightmare…

Harry's *Point of View*

Sev started screaming but he didn't really wake up…

"Sev you're all right come on open your eyes" I said. Madam Pomfrey came running… she had heard Sev's screams and one of the alarms was going haywire…

Severus opened his eyes… he was trembling violently… I slipped my arms around him… there was a flash of bright white light and several figures came into the room

To Be Continued...  
AN: sorry folks… this is just a snapshot of my story for November – I will rewrite this scene (I might even make it a little more romantic) if I write any more now it will blow my plot… (I haven't completely worked out the three parts yet but I am going to do that soon…)


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